Lost in my Anger

Ok a few years ago I was talking with my Mom about my relationship issues. Her response was "Wow! Where is your anger? I see this huge fire burning in you. You are definately your father's son, but your fire is passion and is only equaled by his, which is anger. So I know you have it in you, but where is it?" Ok, not sure what to say to that. Figured not getting angry all the time was a good thing!?! So now we move into the current, and up to the past 14 months. (SIGH!) In that time span I've learned more about a family member then I ever expected to know. Worst part is that I did not get any of the knowledge from the person it was about. I found out from my Mom. I honestly think she tells me this stuff just so she can get me pissed off. Which sadly I have gotten extremely pissed, but I have not let it show, nore have I let it out. Good thing too, otherwise I would be blogging from jail, if they allowed internet access in jail. At the moment my mind is swirling with the latest bit of knowledge I was sideswiped with, just 40 minutes ago. My head is splitting and my body aches just from where I am trying to control my anger. If I had the name of the worthless motherfucker that did what has been aledged, he would already be dead! Shot multiple times then sliced into tiny fish food size bites. They would never find the useless, godless waste of human flesh! And again, since I have typed it and posted it, it would be considered premeditated, hence I would get the chair. LOL! For 1 bit of justice, I would get the chair, but for all he has done he currently walks the streets without a care in the world. But for a name I would gladly accept my fate, just for the chance to make him suffer!!

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all the best life has to offer for the new year!
Ohh, if I win the lottery, I'll come visit and take you all out for dinner.
~.^

Back in the saddle, of sorts

Well, I was recently told that I need a physical outlet for my anger. Hmmmmmm..............

So today I am going hunting. Haven't been since 05 season since in 06 I had shoulder surgery. With all the crap going on around here, yes I am at a boiling point and do need a release.

Would rather have a sexual release............, but since that wont be anytime soon. Deer beware!!!


=)

=(

Degenerative disc disease! That is my diagnosis.

Warm compresses, and avoidance of anything that might agravate it. Ummmm, ...................., yeah!
How do I avoid it if all I do is lift heavy metal all day, its my job!

Who knows, maybe hell will freeze over and I'll hit the lottery soon.

HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, still wishing all of you the best this world and lide has to offer.

Pain III

Ok, saw the doctor last week. He told me to take 2 aleeve twice a day. Done!

Every joint in my body hurting, not aching. Even my damn toes are hurting. Oh, and to add to the mix, I woke up at 3:30 (after going to bed real freakin early, 9:30 the night b4) and visited Ralph the porcelain god.

Needless to say I already called in sick. Again. =(


Wishing you all the best, or at least better then me. ~.^

Pain II

Well, I missed yesterday because the 2 days prior, I'd felt like I went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime by the time my shift was over. He put me out for rest of the week.

So now the joy of filling out forms in triplicate if I don't want to get in trouble for missing 3 days. Oh, and if I want to get paid for themm too. No way I can afford to miss 3 days pay. =(

Well, still wishing all of you the best life has to offer. =)

Pain

I've endured lots of pain in my life. Always have had a high tolerance to physical pain, so when I finally couldn't take it, it meant I was in serious trouble. Hell I didn't even hurt after my car wreck 2 years ago. Door pinned on my left leg/hip. No cuts, nor scrapes, hell not even a bruise.

Emotional pain, now that cuts deeper, but as I've been told, "thats just growing pains, you'll get over it". Happily thats true!

But this weekend I had my spirit broken!

Break the spirit and the mind and body will soon follow. Atm I am questioning my every move over the last few months. I am hurting physically all over to the point I am taking today off, awoling. =(