Lost in my Anger

Ok a few years ago I was talking with my Mom about my relationship issues. Her response was "Wow! Where is your anger? I see this huge fire burning in you. You are definately your father's son, but your fire is passion and is only equaled by his, which is anger. So I know you have it in you, but where is it?" Ok, not sure what to say to that. Figured not getting angry all the time was a good thing!?! So now we move into the current, and up to the past 14 months. (SIGH!) In that time span I've learned more about a family member then I ever expected to know. Worst part is that I did not get any of the knowledge from the person it was about. I found out from my Mom. I honestly think she tells me this stuff just so she can get me pissed off. Which sadly I have gotten extremely pissed, but I have not let it show, nore have I let it out. Good thing too, otherwise I would be blogging from jail, if they allowed internet access in jail. At the moment my mind is swirling with the latest bit of knowledge I was sideswiped with, just 40 minutes ago. My head is splitting and my body aches just from where I am trying to control my anger. If I had the name of the worthless motherfucker that did what has been aledged, he would already be dead! Shot multiple times then sliced into tiny fish food size bites. They would never find the useless, godless waste of human flesh! And again, since I have typed it and posted it, it would be considered premeditated, hence I would get the chair. LOL! For 1 bit of justice, I would get the chair, but for all he has done he currently walks the streets without a care in the world. But for a name I would gladly accept my fate, just for the chance to make him suffer!!